The Boyfriend Post

I'm sitting here sulking because it started to rain before I could make it to the library, so naturally I'm online looking at pictures of cats. And then it hits me: everything I see, the ones that make me laugh the most, remind me of my boyfriend.

So here's a collection of my favourite pics that make me think of the Beloved Boy, who is busily working on his end-of-semester assignments so he can get top marks and rule the world.

I feel safest when I'm with him. I leave my phone behind, I don't check my Facebook page; I know that when I'm with him the rest of the world isn't out to get me. 

And he's my bear. For cuddles and snuggles and kisses and laughs. 

Yup. 

WolfGrrl

A Year and a Day

Today is our one year anniversary. One year together, sharing laughs, squabbles and tears. One year to become stronger, and weaker, and happier. I love you, Maxamillion. I still wonder how our paths ever crossed, while remaining fantastically grateful that they did.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.
Happy One-Year-ish Day.

G

Winter is Coming

Mmm chippies. Otherwise known as fries. They are quite delicious, and it's been a while since I've had any. I think, as I go out to do some shopping in preparation for a birthday celebration, that I'll grab some chips and have an early dinner. Nothing like fish to keep you warm and happy. (And so smart!)

I don't feel smarter, but that's not important. My friends at home as posting poolside pictures while I struggle through the rain and cold weather. At least the sun is out now, though the temperature continues to drop by the hour. Winter has come, evidently.

A shout out here to my darling daddy, whose birthday was earlier this week, and to my boyfriend, whose birthday is later this month. How nice to have both loves in one month (at least I have a prayer of remembering them, haha).

I'm looking forward to the next few weeks, history paper aside. It'll be wonderful to see the boyfriend in Wellington, and I have a month and a half of school left! Yay! How did that happen?

It'll be his turn soon. It makes me very happy to hear my friends at home beg me to bring him with me when I return. I love that they accept him, and want to get to know him better. You're loved, sweetheart, by lots of people the world over.

Tootles!
WolfGrrl

Across the World

I've been slack, but how can one find motivation when the weather is delightful, one's boyfriend is close, and there's a whole new country to explore? I barely use the internet now that I am abroad, but now I shall check in and let those of you who follow me know that I'm alive and busy.

My boyfriend took both these photos; I am not the most competent when it comes to photography. But I shall have to learn, because in two weeks I leave him to attend school 800 kms away. And I just have to document getting into my flat and trying to find my way around a whole new city. 

Ciao! 

WolfGrrl

The Countdown

It's that time of year, folks. (Yeah, it's the holiday season, but it's also the countdown until study abroad). I know I've been posting a lot about my imminent departure, so if you're bored just skip this post.

Today is the 18th of December, where we wish a very happy birthday to my saintly mother and buy our Christmas tree. Then in another week it's New Years', and I count down four days more until I leave the country.

To sum up: I'm in the US for another eighteen days.

My days have been a bit slow since school finished, but things will zoom by faster than I can keep track. My eighteen days are full of friendly visits, doctor's appointments, packing, tracking, and counting.

It's difficult to imagine leaving my friends for a semester and not being there for the crises, the tears, the laughter and the inside-jokes. It's difficult to imagine leaving them at all, actually. I love them; I'll miss them. But I'll see them in six months. WOW!

To those I didn't get to say goodbye to: I love you guys. I'll post pictures (here and on Facebook) and write letters and Skype. (Oh Skype, the current bane of my existence.)

Today is day eighteen.
WolfGrrl

The Boy Thing

I don't know if this is characteristic of boys, or just my boy, but he doesn't use adjectives.
Really. I am 'pretty.' He is 'doing good.' The weather is 'nice.' For someone who thrives on description it is the one thing I would change about him.

Thus, my never-ending refrain is: ADJECTIVES PLEASE OMG!!!

WolfGrrl

All Suns Set

I feel a little like my sun has set.

Not forever, but definitely for this time. I am learning to adjust my life to my love's absence; it's more difficult than I thought it would be. He came for so brief a time and managed to make himself a part - the center - of my world. Going through that world without him feels wrong. Off balance.

I'll be all right, never fear. It's not unpleasant, this balancing act I'm relearning, but it is melancholy. I didn't expect sharing my life - my whole life - with another person to be so simple. So easy to achieve. I am no longer singular; I am one half of a pair. I'm not sure what I feel about this, except that when I am with him the world is brighter, funnier, more in every way.

I guess this is what the poets call Love. Funny, it doesn't seem like an illness to me. Rather, like basking in the sun only to find yourself in the shadow of a cloud. The exquisite warmth he brought is gone; I am as I always was, but now I want more.

I know all suns set, just as I know all clouds pass. But I am selfish. I want to sit in the sun forever. I want to be warm forever. I want him forever. I don't think the sun will set on us.

WolfGrrl

Little Lost Kitty

To the friends who thought I would make a good military wife: we were all wrong. I am struggling to maintain a happy (or at least pleasant) demeanor now that my boyfriend is on his way across the world. It's not that our situation is particularly harrowing; I will see him again in four weeks. But out of seven months, I had him for nine wonderful days.

I always wondered what I would feel when I found someone to love. Well, driving home from the airport Wednesday night, I found out. I can drive home on autopilot, blind from tears, and not have a wreck.

I sent him home with a smile and a wave.
WolfGrrl

Offline

I have been offline enjoying my boyfriend. Be back in a week.

WG

Princess du Jour

Today is a wonderful day, and not many people feel that way about Mondays.
For those of you who have no idea what goes on in my life, today concludes the first part of my fairytale.

Today, I meet my boyfriend for the first time.

I'm sure you're all staring at the computer screen trying to figure out where the typo lies; after all, can this man be my boyfriend if I've never met him? Let me point out that this happened even before globalization and technological advances; people have been falling in love through letters for centuries. I am just modifying the old technique for a new era. And while the ride has been fantastic, I have my eyes and heart fixed on the future, not the past.

I have been so focused on school, work, and getting my life together that for the past week I haven't had time to really examine how I feel. But this iconic Monday marks the end of my work time and the beginning of my play time. For ten days - ten days, Reader! - I get to laugh and play and wonder as we learn to fit into each other's lives. I have never chosen someone to be so close to me. I am an accommodating soul, yet for the first time someone has given me what I've always wanted and never had the courage to ask for.

I see a relationship (and a friendship, to a lesser extent) as a convenant between two people to put one another first. This doesn't work quite like it sounds; coming first means knowing when to step away if the other person needs time alone, or knowing when to step up if the other person needs help. Putting someone else first is an incredible commitment, and for a long time I never thought I'd find a person to make that commitment to me.

Finding this man makes me understand that it isn't a sacrifice to put someone else first. Usually it means making both people happy; finding a balance, finding happiness. I love to make others happy; I love to make my boyfriend happy. (I also like to make him laugh, which doesn't always make him happy.)

I'm so nervous, but it is overpowered by my joy. Normally, I feel joy like an all-consuming flash flood of emotion that lifts me too high and brings me down with a crash. This joy is like sitting in a pool of sun, baking my bones and letting all my burdens melt away. I feel like a princess. (According to him, I am a princess, hahaha.)

Today is a wonderful day. A magical day. A day where an ordinary couple take up the mantle of a fairytale couple. Today I am a princess, and my prince is on his way to me.

Except to hear the about how I tackle him in the airport.
WolfGrrl

The Longest Week

This has been the longest week of my life in recent memory.
My boyfriend will finally be here Monday evening, and I can't even enjoy the anticipation because I am earning my free evenings from three months ago.

One. More. Day.
One. More. Day.
One.
More.
Day.

And then I can spend my weekend working. But at least it will be the weekend.

Yeah.
WolfGrrl

Declarative Sentences

A fancy way of saying, I was accepted for a semester of interntional study.

Anyone who seen an official letter or email that begins with the word 'congratulations' can understand my state of shock, joy, and honor last night. The funny thing is, I was Skyping my boyfriend when I received the news that I would be studying abroad in his home country. He got to watch me cry in front of the computer.

This was supposed to be a post of short, declarative sentences brimming over with ecstasy. But, I am as always verbose in my delight.

This has been a Week. Two exams, two papers, the news that I shall be living overseas for almost six months... Fwah. I cannot take it in.

And tonight, some retail fun with my dearest Giggles (and Miss Gasybeans if she chooses to join us). 'Cause a grrl has got to eat!

WolfGrrl

WolfGrrl is...

Some of you may remember when I took the "What is my Daemon" test about a year ago. Since then I've changed quite a bit, moving in a more balanced direction. I decided I wanted to take the test again (I will post the link for curious readers). Read on to find out who/what WolfGrrl is. I was pleased. (My boyfriend is less so, because he's slower than me about answering questions, haha.)

"In a way, you are a truly balanced person. You have a good sense of self, but you also have periods of worry and self doubt. You don't like to be alone alot; nor do you like to be constantly surrounded. You are shy in some situations and bold in others. You can tell people how you feel, but you don't wear your heart on your sleeve. You aren't 'too' anything: too shy, too aggressive, too extroverted, too introverted. You are, at any given time, any combination of these things.

"You tend to adapt to the situations in which you find yourself. With some people you are quiet and sensitive; with others, you're loud and boisterous. People tend to perceive you as they want to perceive you and sometimes they are surprised when you behave in a way that's different from their perception. Some people might even idealize you. Does anyone know the 'real' you?

"Your daemon would represent your multi-faceted and ever changing personality, as well as people's tendency to idealize you. He would become angry when you're calm, serene when you're ruffled, and always be the voice of reason and emotion in your ear.

Suggested forms: Swan, Koala, Panda, WOLF"

Here's the link: http://helloquizzy.okcupid.com/tests/the-golden-compass-daemon-test/

EDIT: My boyfriend got the EXACT SAME RESULT. There was no sharing of the information during the test.

WolfGrrl

Yup

Falling in love is wonderful...and scary as hell. But I sure wouldn't trade it for perfect grades, a million bucks, or world peace.

This is my boyfriend and me. 

Three guesses who's who.

WolfGrrl

Our Song

You know, I never used to like Taylor Swift.

Shhh. I know, it might be a crime. But I was just...not part of anything she sang about. None of that stuff really related to me and my life.

And then along comes a documentary on Netflix about (who else), Taylor Swift? Well then...let the happiness begin.

Hahaha. No, it wasn't quite like that. But I did become more fond of her (she is a wonderful person) and she does write catchy, fun songs. So...

I like to drive with the radio on so I can sing along, but I never know the words. One day I was driving along mangling Bruce Springsteen when a random song by some group named Lady Antebellum (I had to look that up) came on.

This would be Our Song, folks.
Taylor Swift devotees, you know what I mean. ^_^

Just a Kiss Goodnight

WolfGrrl

A Bouquet

Gentlemen, take note. 
To win brownie points with both your girlfriends and their parents (mothers)
You must send her flowers on her birthday.
It makes it even better
When she doesn't know they are coming
And when they are sent by someone
Who lives 8500 miles away.

I love you forever and always too, my dear.
However long forever may be.
Wolfgrrl

Missing From Me

I know in the past I've mentioned that I don't think French is a very romantic language. Well, there are definitely aspects of it that get right to the heart of the matter ('scuse the pun). In French, one says "Tu me manques" for "I miss you." The literal translation of this is "You are missing from me."

My boyfriend lives very far away from me right now. We do the best we can, and we are pros at adjusting to crappy internet, dropped Skype calls, time differences and shipping costs. I believe that a long-term, long-distance relationship is completely possible if both people are invested in it. We are invested, but it makes us appreciate the little things we don't yet have all the more.

I have never missed another person's physical presence the way I miss his. It's hard to combat, this yearning, for it is nothing I've ever had to deal with before. I don't know if I should distract myself by being happy, being angry, being sad, or being asleep. I am at a loss when it comes to solving this emotional dilemma. Last night I tried an old standby: when unable to sleep, write.

Those of you who followed me from Deviant Art have probably already seen this poem. But there are some of you who have no idea that I write (aside from infrequent blog entries, and school papers). So I'll put the poem here too. This is how I describe the feeling that someone is missing from me.

i am missing more than you
i am missing the warmth of you at my back;
the weight of your arm keeping me from floating away

i am missing being able to wind your hair around my finger
and the way you smile when i come running.

i am missing more than you,
for you are more
than three vowels and a breath.

you are the hand i reach for
and the laugh that answers mine
the reason i can't sleep
and the reason i dream

you are missing from me
tu me manques.

tu me manques, toujours.

Thank you for reading. 

WolfGrrl

Meet the Parents

Technically this should be a two-part post: his and hers, with matching accessories. I am hoping that today I can take my boyfriend home to "meet the parents" and next week I will meet his when they come up for Thanksgiving. Fingers crossed it all goes well - although I suspect our biggest issue will be, once we've finished meeting everyone, that we turn to each other and go "Thank God you turned out normal!"

My roommate asked the two of us last night (as we were discussing these plans) if we were nervous. To which he and I both replied (almost at the same time): "Nope." I hadn't ever considered this more than a courtesy to my parents; my mother complained a few days ago that I never really told her I was going out with my boyfriend; she said if she wasn't my Facebook friend she wouldn't have known, to which I replied that if she hadn't been my Facebook friend I would have made a greater effort to announce it to the family. Whew. Talk about your crossed wires. Anyway, despite this I guess my progression from romantic interest to actual girlfriend was so...natural, it didn't seem like a big deal to me even though it was.

Being a girlfriend is a wonderful experience, but if I had less of a considerate, fun, and caring boyfriend I don't think it would be half as much fun. Babysitting his Crackberry aside (I am so technologically inept that I spent yesterday turning off the alarm every ten minutes because I didn't know how to disable it), there isn't much I won't do for my boyfriend. I am so comfortable in our relationship that this step seems waaaay smaller than I suppose it is; I've never dated before, and I think everyone is constantly surprised by this since I took to it so...readily. I can't help it: I'm a prodigy.

I can't be nervous when he told me his mother was worried she wouldn't pronounce my name correctly (let's just say I've been Jennifer to Guenevere and leave it at that) and wanted to know if I had a nickname. I don't, but hey, I've always wanted one. I like Ginnie. Gennie. And you all already know I'm not a rabid Harry Potter fan-girl, so my interest in that nickname is completely sane.

In high school Meet the Parents is something everyone does with various stages of trepidation. In college, I get the feeling it isn't such a big deal (unless someone's parents are huge snobs, or serial killers, or you're getting married). We're supposed to be adults now: we choose partners not according to our parents' rules but according to those which they've instilled in us. I think I've done remarkably well; who else has ever told me, upon waking up from a nap, that I look beautiful? Not. A. Single. Soul. So I will Meet the Parents and be sweet and open and honest, and hope that they like me because it's a courtesy I'm willing to extend on behalf of my boyfriend. When it comes right down to it, his opinion is the only one I care about.

Arrivederci!
WolfGrrl