I Want To Go Home

I want to go home, but I don't know to which home.

I have a home in the States, with my parents, sister, dog and cat. And I have a home with my boyfriend, whether he's in Wellington, Auckland, or on the moon.

I don't know which home I want, because wherever I am, there I'm not.

While I don't think I'll ever be too old to crawl in my mother's lap and demand a hug, I want to crawl into my boyfriend's arms and have him banish my sadness.

I miss the insane cat and my stuffed animals. I miss my friends at home. I miss my doctors, and the normality of a system that I understand. I miss...my life.

I like it here; I'm not miserable being here. It's just that my ability to self-sustain is cracking, a little.

I want my Max. I want my Mommy.
I can't have either right now, and it sucks.

WG