The Little Engine That Did

Yesterday afternoon, as I was vegetating, I happened upon a graduation speech given by two men whose comedic work I've admired for the past year. They mentioned, among other things, the arrival of the graduates in a world called "Reality."

Their speech got me thinking and, (typically), I had an epiphany about eighteen hours later as I was lying in bed letting my thoughts wander.

I feel that I have found my place in the world. Despite my recent worry that I don't know what I'm doing (it's normal, but that doesn't make it less terrifying), I do think that I've found what most people set out into the world looking for. I have arrived.

My arrival is rooted in the love I have for my boyfriend; the laughter I share with my friends; the support I seek from all of them and the lessons we teach one another. I am more open; I share more of myself with the world. I try. Trying is 99% of arriving, folks. This little engine finally made it over the top of the mountain.

It's interesting for me as an anthropologist to be studying the social constructs of 'Self' and 'Other' and realize just how definite my thoughts on those are. I am a 'Self.' I see 'Otherness' as the interactions between selves. Bumping into others, learning from or about others, causes one to define a view of oneself as A or B or X.

I am a 'Self.' For a long time I was an 'Other' even to myself (there's a metaphysical tangle for ya). But this Little Engine chugged along, not very fast and not very smoothly, until magically it arrived at the top of the mountain and found a nice, gently curving line of track.

The hard part is over, everyone. I hope you'll celebrate with me. I have found a family that will stay with me for as long as possible. I have found people to love, who love me undeservedly and unreservedly.

I did. You can too. I hope this realization gives you as much lift as it's given me.

Adios,
WolfGrrl