Unique

We want to think that we are unique.
This is what humans prize above all.
Singularity.
Uniqueness.
Having an eating disorder is a sign that an individual feels frightened and marginalized.
I had a difficult time letting go of my eating disorder because I felt it made me unique.
I desperately wanted to be unique because I felt like I wasn't a part of the world.
Nothing about me was "good enough."
For a long time after I began treatment I was mourning the loss of my uniqueness.
But an eating disorder is a common thing.
Many people have one, and it is a disorder because it has universal signs and symptoms.
My eating disorder wasn't unique.
It didn't make me unique.
It made me a part of something.
Realizing that made it easier to let go.
It was easier to let go because I wasn't losing anything.
I am unique.
The disorder - my disorder - is not.