Let me preface this post by stating that I am NOT the world's biggest fan of Harry Potter. Yes, I've read them. Some of them I enjoyed (number three will always have a soft spot in my heart, as it was the first one I ever read). I've watched the movies and written papers on the novels. I admire what J. K. Rowling has achieved. But I sincerely hope that I'm not one of those people who quote the Potterverse in everyday life. Ahem. Mother. Sister.
I'm too young to be like my mother. And since I don't know my sister’s planet of origin, being like her is tough.
It's course-planning time. Yes, despite being in the middle of midterms I dutifully went off to Academic Advising yesterday afternoon and planned out my schedule for the spring semester. It was no hardship; I always go to the same advisor and she's wonderful. We had a nice chat, discussed how I should not sit for my two language exams within the same four hour exam period, and then I came home to my room and planned out what I needed to take and when.
Here's where I begin to quote Potter. Or rather, Hermione Granger.
You have to admire her; she knows where she's going in life. But she has magic on her side; most specifically, that bloody Time Turner. I want one. I am emerald with envy that she has one and I don’t. What a perfect solution! I would be so efficient I’d be in the Guinness Book of World Records: Teacup Human Graduates at 20; Teacup Human Becomes CEO of megacorporation; Teacup Human Becomes Benevolent Dictator of World…
Well, OK. The rest of the world is probably glad I don’t have a Time Turner. (Although I might have a career writing for the National Inquirer.) But really now, unless my brain exploded or I accidentally created a paradox I could, with a Time Turner, simultaneously be in the gym, in bed, in class, working in the library, and holding down a job. Whoo-hoo!
Something just occurred to me, and I’m afraid it’s punctured my excitement balloon. Does a Time Turner accelerate one’s life? If you do everything simultaneously, can you really enjoy anything? Can the brain be split into so many different scenarios or is it really a split-personality, multi-tasking-in-3D phenomenon? I have a hard time texting and walking, let alone doing seventeen different things at the same time. And what happens once you’ve done everything? What then?
In my lovely little utopia, Academic Advising would hand out Time Turners to teach us all time-management skills. The good students wouldn’t need them; the mediocre students would try them and become annoyed; and the bad students would slowly be weeded out because their heads exploded from trying to do everything. Or maybe the good and bad students would overlap.
Argh! See how frustrating this is? (And also how much I’m overthinking this process?) I think this goes under the list of things I should be grateful I don’t have to worry about, like cursing people, flying, and telepathy. I’m an ordinary teacup human with an oversized organizational bent. Can you imagine how annoying I’d be if I was full-sized and had a Time Turner?
Yes. Cringe from me. I will organize you to death. And that’s all by myself.
WolfGrrl
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