Haters Gonna Hate

I know the world is a judgmental place, and I know humans are rarely kind to each other. People are rash, both in what they say and when (and how) they say it.

But hate is...an evil, evil thing. It is painful for the person who is hated, and dangerous to the one who hates. I think that the internet, while it has many good points, is a breeding ground for hatred. We hate what we don't know. We hate on behalf of those we love, without thinking that they might not feel the same way. We hate quickly, passionately. Hatred and love are opposites for a reason; they spring from the same source. To hate one thing, you must love another.

This morning I visited the tumbler of an artist I follow. Her work is what inspired me to try my hand at drawing again, and she is such a cheerful, happy person that there's always something to make me smile on her page.

The first thing I saw on her page, among the posts for the last twelve hours, was a comment and an answer that shocked me. And then came the hurt - both empathetic and sympathetic.

(I've had my run-in with hateful comments on the internet, just as an aside. I know the pain those words produce. It's like being punched. You deflate, you crumple. You want to cry or run and hide.)

Haters gonna hate. I believe that some people hate others because they hate themselves. I guess I'm lucky that the only person I've ever wanted to punish was myself. I hope I would never lash out at another person specifically; sure, I'll complain or vent frustration and anger, but I do not call others out. I don't use names. I don't use abusive language. In my heart, I don't want to hurt others. But I am human. If they're hurt because of that, well...that's on them.

But enough. I just wanted to ask everyone to please...censor yourself. Having been rash, I reaped the painful consequences. Don't let the internet make you think you're anonymous. You're not. I admire those who can come back to their haters without sinking to that level. The artist responded with a thoughtful reply, and even asked her defenders (it's never just two people engaged in hatred. Those who stand with each are also involved) to leave the hater alone.

Shakespeare said that "Violent delights have violent ends." If love and hate are driven by the same emotion - passion - then they both cannot endure for long. So I guess there's comfort in that: hate fades in time, as does that bright, vivid flash of love-at-first-sight. Dislike lasts longer, just as loving someone long-term means you love them less intensively, less exclusively. Ahh, I can't explain this. Think of it as fire, one a bonfire, the other a candle. The bonfire flares up quickly and burns for a short time. The candle burns less bright, but for much longer and much more steadily. I think you know which is which.

Just... I've never hated anyone. I thought I did, I really did, but it wasn't a few hours or days later that I felt sorry for that person, or indifferent. Hate is a visceral thing; we feel it, but we can't sustain it. Not without damaging ourselves. Those who clutch hate to their chests are those who are afraid of something, even life or themselves.

I wish I knew how to ask in a way that doesn't seem condescending or patronizing. Maybe I should remember this: for every person you deliberately try to hurt, someone close to you will be sad.

Wolfgrrl